Live with Simcha, and Never Complain: a Lesson from Parshas Vayigash

From the “Torah Wellsprings” of Rav Elimelech Biderman, shlita 

     We must learn never to complain. 

     In fact, we should not even let ourselves think about any past challenges and hardships, so that we can live with happiness. 

     Thirty-three words comprise two pesukim in Parshas Vayigash, when Pharaoh asks Yaakov, “How old are you?” and Yaakov replies, “They were few and bad years." Chazal tell us that because Yaakov complained about his difficult life with 33 words before Pharaoh, Hashem took 33 years of Yaakov’s life. 

     Yitzchak Avinu lived to the age of 180, but Yaakovs’s petira was at the age 147, which is a difference of 33 years. We can understand why Yaakov was punished for his own words of complaint, but why was Yaakov punished for Pharaoh’s question, as well?

     Meforshim point out that half of the 33 words in the two pesukim come from Pharaoh's question, "How old are you?" The Chasam Sofer, zt”l, answers that Yaakov’s elderly appearance is what promoted Pharaoh to ask Yaakov his age. 

     Yaakov responds that he is that old, however, the tzaros he endured caused him to age prematurely. Therefore, we learn that Yaakov was punished for Pharaoh’s question because Yaakov’s haggard appearance prompted the question.

     What lesson can we learn from this? We must train ourselves not to allow our minds to return to anything negative from our pasts.

    Instead, we must cultivate the healthy habit to discipline our minds to focus on the positive and the present, so that we can more easily live with simcha. We must forget about the past, never complain, and live happily, so that we do not appear unnecessarily old and worn out.

     Of course, we should set times for introspection, and at times, we say viduy. Our primary focus, however, should be on enjoying the brachos of the present and think about how we can improve the future.

     Simchah raises a person higher than the greatest mitzvah."